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As the posted date gives away, this entry is going up more than a little bit late.

Before the holidays, I felt really proud of how many home tasks I was accomplishing. It felt good to check so many things off my list on a regular basis. When I first started out, I was amazed at how much I was able to accomplish and my ability to stay motivated. It felt a little surreal.

Then, like the best of intentions, that motivation started waning a bit. I figured it was to be expected with the holidays and travel plans nearing.

We went out of town for two weeks. It was wonderful to be around family and friends, and the time I spent there made me very happy. I was blessed to spend even more days there than we had planned. 

Then we got back. The mess was waiting for me. What I didn't find was my limitless will to tackle it, or really any will at all. I was disappointed that though I had put a good amount of effort and time into making our home better, it still was too cluttered and messy for my husband and I to enjoy it or even really feel comfortable in. To add to that, like most people, there was an adjustment period coming back from vacation. A bit of a grieving period from having so many people I love nearby and then being so far away from them again.

I stopped doing my nightly routine. The dishes piled up. The bathroom counter lost its shine. I skipped writing a state of the home address because there was no room to room update. The update was: everything is still a mess. The End.

I missed having a clean bathroom counter and an empty sink. The benefits that came from doing the nightly routine. I missed the satisfaction I felt from taking steps to make our home better for us. Yet I had a hard time making myself do anything about it. I am a hard worker when it involves other people (jobs, schools), but when it involves myself, I don't have the same gusto. In short,  I'm a better friend (worker, etc.) to other people than I am to myself. So what remains surprising to me is how well I did in the first place. (I credit having my BFF, MJ, to be accountable to for a lot of it.)

But slowly, for a little under two weeks, I've started doing things here and there again. I'm starting to find some motivation to tackle the ever present duty of keeping a home in order. Feeling a little bit more confident that when next (this) month's report comes there will be in fact more to report.

I considered skipping this month's report all together, but I felt it was important to document each stage of the process for me. Nothing is always pretty or as productive as we hope it to be. But what matters is that we continue to take steps to move ourselves forward.

And even baby steps count.